
If you want to go crazy, Vietnam is your best choice for that. Once again we met a lot of people which we´ll remember for a long time, but also those we´d like to forget as soon as possible.
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What is the main ingredient of every Vietnamese meal? GLUTAMATE.
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Instead of a pig, they do the DOG barbecue.
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So we can sum up the Vietnamese food like this – Dari lost weight, Dom gained some.
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Czechs have father Masaryk, the Vietnamese have UNCLE HO.
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Transport in Vietnam is MADNESS, CRAZINESS, and STUPIDITY.
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Continuous honking results in the DEAFNESS of the entire nation. Otherwise, how could you explain why everyone is screaming at each other?
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Understanding traffic lights in Vietnam: GREEN – You can go. ORANGE – You can go. RED – You can still go.
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If there is no cold beer, they don’t hesitate to put ice in it.
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KARAOKE is a national culture. They sing everywhere and you can buy a golden microphone on every corner.
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The tourists are generally a target of scams in Asia, but in Vietnam the scams play higher league. The taxi driver is able to stand in front of a bus going to your destination and swear to your face that there is no bus going there. The guides will swear that a museum is closed for another 3 hours to convince you to take a tour with him. And a crowd of people you see behind the museum’s fence does not bother him at all.
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DOUBLE MENU. In other countries, they at least try to hide the double prices, but in Vietnam, the local menu is ripped out of your hands to give you an English one with double prizes.
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For the first time, we wanted to leave a country sooner. They were pissing us off so much.
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Dari felt like a HOBO in a dress she bought in other Asian countries. If we forget about the quality, the fact that Vietnam is a fashion country can not be denied.
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The French have left really great legacy in the country. Everything is “LE”. Le pho bó, le dong, le café, …
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Despite US-Vietnam history, they seem to like the Americans. Proof of this can be BUN CHÁ OBAMA. Tell us where else they named a food by a foreign president.
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Proper pronunciation is a must in Asia. Before we learned the right pronouncination of the Vietnamese thank you, we must have been pretty rude. Instead of [kam ən] we were cheerfully saying [kam on]. In other words, instead of “thank you” we told people to “SHUT UP”.
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Where does Vietnamese language originate? It seems to us that they simply translated English into Vietnamese letters. For example, vé sinh (WC), ca phé (café), oto (auto), bia (beer), cat toc (hair dresser).
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The effort of some locals to be whiter knows no limits. Not only do they wear an umbrella against the sun, but we also regularly found a WHITENING SHOWER GEL in hotels.
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Beds are so hard here that you can sleep straight on the floor and feel no difference.
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“Repubi”, “repabl”, “rebupli”, … well, try to get the Vietnamese to pronounce the word “republic” correctly. Fun guaranteed.
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Children must be really confused and have a distorted picture of reality. With our own eyes, we’ve seen an ad in which kittens were hatching from the eggs instead of chickens.
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We have a new addiction. SUA CHUA CACAO. Simply yoghurt with ice and cocoa. Yummy.
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Two months in here and still, we didn’t visit SAPA. Somehow we weren’t in the mood to see the biggest Vietnamese tourist trap. And we do not regret for a single moment.
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Cities (Hanoi mostly) are divided into quarters. Quarter with toys, quarter with tools, quarter with tapes or a quarter selling only tombstones.
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Everyone is shouting at us. Hey – taxi?! Hey – pineapple?! Hey – food?! Hey – marihuana? Or just: Hey – OK?
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